This is an appeal to all of those who are seeking the path of True Progressiveness (blessed be its name). You will not find the salvation of the Democratic Party in either The Baby Jesus or The Buddha. As a matter of fact, they both suck. I've thought about this long and hard, and have decided that making sure you guys are acutely and constantly aware of my distaste for them is a selfless public service on my part. No need to thank me - I live to serve. Please follow me over the fold, while I vaguely trash them both, in the name of being helpful to you all as you make your similar decisions.
The Baby Jesus cannot be our nominee, period. His negatives are huge. Old scandals would dog us the entire election. I mean, do we really know who his father was? We all know what he says, and for sure the hostile Romans have suspiciously and thoroughly investigated him and everyone around him. But no records will be released for about 300 years, so do we reeeeeaaallly know for sure? And Jesus is in someone's pocket. I have no solid proof, but I think there was some quid pro quo going on with those wealthy Magi. You can't tell me that they don't expect anything in return for that frankincense and myrhh. Whose wedding will get the water-into-wine, hmmmm? Yes, I know he has a track record of support of Liberal causes like healing for the masses, advocating for adulterous women, and is decidely pro the-little-children, but I just can't get past the whore-for-the-Magi thing. Not to mention he'd be nowhere and nothing without John the Baptist. Then there's the question of him bringing that right wing Saul/Paul on staff. Inexcusable! Yes, I know that he has the campaign skills to probably take Jesus from a simple Galilee preacher to Savior of the World, and we all criticized Bush for hiring based on ideology, not skills, but I just can't stomach the guy.
The Buddha is not much better. I love his message, but he's simply not electable. The swiftboaters are going to have a field day with a name like Siddhartha. Trust me, if the American people can't spell it, they're not likely to vote for it. When watching the last debate, he was downright embarrassing. He kept responding to the questions with some sort of confusing koan. Geez, the man can't answer a simple question! He inspires me, he truly does. But will he get anything done, and can he fight back against the Rebublicans? Sorry, but an enigmatic smile is not going to make the right wing noise machine back off.
The final straw with both these candidates came for me when they completely dissed the netroots by not adequately sucking up to my favorite blogger. When 50 people scream obscenities at you in a blog thread, the proper response is to come back for more, Mr Candidate. How dare you walk away when I'm calling you a **%$#^! ! Most of you know what I'm talking about, but if you don't, you can read all about it at http://www.egocirclejerk.com. Wear asbestos, because the flame wars are raging.
So I guess at this point I'm going with one of these guys: